Help! My Tefillin Don't Work!
When you do a mitzvah, does it touch you deeply?
Does it make you cry?
Does it warm your soul?
A few weeks ago, I met a hero: a young man, who has been struggling with the demons of addiction, and who courageously admitted himself to a treatment center.
In the midst of his treatment, on the way to an appointment, he stopped off at my office for a bolt of spirituality. I wrapped tfillin with my young friend for the first time since his Bar Mitzva 17 years earlier. After he was ‘all strapped up’, I then turned back to my computer to continue my work, giving him a few minutes of privacy to recite the shma and to pray.
A half-hour later he returned my tefillin to me, saying words that I will never forget. Clearly emotionally moved, and with tears in his eyes, he said “I feel like my soul is warmed up inside me…”
The experience had a profound effect, not only on him, but on me. This young man, urgent in his desire to climb out of his pit, found the “soul-fuel” to energize his journey upwards.
Our sages tell us that Kinat Sofrim Tarbe Chochmah – Jealously among scribes increases wisdom. There is such a thing as a positive and good jealousy.
So I am not afraid to admit it – I’m jealous.
Are my tefillin broken, are they out of order? Why doesn’t my tefillin-laying affect me when I put them on each morning? Why don’t I cry?
I’m inspired by what this young man has – a soul aflame with a burning desire to grow.
Let us all seek and find ‘soul-fuel’ in each and every Mitzvah that we do. We can all be inspired from our courageous hero in recovery.
Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Yisroel Hecht
Chabad of Sunnyvale